The dream which I had last night was about what I always dreaming of, which could hardly come true. What made me have such a dream??I am not sure. Perhaps I am trying to cure my pain which I usualy do not feel, but does exsist beneath my conciousness, or, I may simply miss you.

`My life is as perfect as the round shape of the full moon`, an aristcrat made such a poem more than 1000 years ago. He was the super power at that time, To me, the moon is too far and thus looks too vague to employ as the `mirror` of my life. Still my life is as good as moon cakes or moon dumplings though.

Going to Tokyo to find my new place. Its gonna be a busy day tomorrow. 

After a person gained prosperity, she starts seeking a way for immortality and forever-youth. It may lead her evendisgusting activities, such as eating fresh of babies, bathing in blood of virgines or taking botox injection!! To me, it is enough if I can fill my life joy and prosper...the length doesn`t matter. So I started researching the way to control my fatigue with both what I eat and how I sleep, hoping to live better till the day I die. 

This is an old book shelve which has stored hundreds of books in my sister`s room for almost 20 years. She decided to throw it away, but it is too large to be carried through our tiny house.Then, she asked me to break it down instead of paying \15,000 to a scrapper.It was tired some and sentimental moment for me to saw and hammer it down, knowing we cannot live together with reminders of old good days.The shelve was tone up into pieces with only 30 mins.

Seems that I!ve lost my sense of time again....I cannot believe I was in UK just a week ago nor I have been at home less than a week. I am missing everyone there but I!ve settled myself down so easily. And I am very much sure that I will be talking to you as if we`d met yesterday, even it could be years later to see you again. The curious thing is that some times these things make me feel as if I am living various different lives at the same time. Then everytime I move around to another place from here, my mind switches onto one of my lives which would have continued there. In short, I am different when my surroundings are different.......having said that, some noises jam into my mind occaisionally.These noises such as friendship, devotion, or nostalgy, may be the elements of something called my identity. The problem is that which experience in my life turns out to be one of these noises is pretty much unpredictablle. So following rather than predicting the tidal current to the future is recomended as a "wise" way. But I will do neither. Strangely, now I`ve got a strong confidence about what I`ve been worrying about for a long time, thus I can BELIEVE in stead of predict or follow whatever happens.

 Finally I am leaving UK. Luckily enough, I could see some of my friends to say good bye. I don't have that much sentimental feeling, rather worring about what to do next than being driven by such a sentimate. But in the mean time, I am grateful to the people whom I met, and whom I didn't meet. Whatever happens inthe future, the memories, experiences and conversations with you may incarnates my life, my self. I regretfully ponder how I am weak so that I could not face my true feeling and show it to you well. Gotta face it, then get over it, instead of escaping from inconvinience and unfavorableness. Now the next door is opening.